Self Care Secrets (Part 1): We All Float In Here

When we hear the term "self-care," many of us immediately envision bubble baths, spa days, or other indulgent activities that provide temporary relaxation. While these aesthetic experiences can be beneficial, self-care encompasses a far broader range of practices, many of which go beyond the surface level. For survivors of military sexual trauma, self-care is not just a luxury but a vital component of healing and recovery. This series aims to dive deeper into self-care, highlighting its importance and exploring practices that might not immediately come to mind but can have profound impacts on your well-being.

Why Self-Care is Crucial for MST Survivors

Pin it!

Self-care is the act of deliberately taking steps to preserve or improve one’s health. For MST survivors, self-care is an essential part of the healing process. Trauma can take a significant toll on both mental and physical health, leading to conditions such as anxiety, depression, and PTSD. Engaging in self-care helps to mitigate these effects by providing necessary relief, fostering resilience, and promoting a sense of control over one’s life.

Emotional Healing: Trauma disrupts your emotional balance, often leading to feelings of fear, anger, and sadness. Self-care practices help to manage these emotions, providing a way to process and release them in a healthy manner.

Physical Health: Stress and trauma can weaken the immune system, increase blood pressure, and lead to other health issues. Self-care activities, especially those that involve physical movement, can improve overall health and contribute to a sense of well-being.

Mental Clarity: Trauma can cloud your mind and make it difficult to think clearly or make decisions. Regular self-care practices can enhance mental clarity and focus, making it easier to navigate daily challenges.

Groundbreaking Self-Care Practice: The Power of Sensory Deprivation

One innovative self-care practice that many people might not readily think of is sensory deprivation, specifically through the use of flotation therapy, also known as float tanks or sensory deprivation tanks. This practice involves floating in a tank filled with salt water at body temperature, in complete darkness and silence. Here’s why this unconventional self-care method can be particularly beneficial for MST survivors:

Deep Relaxation: The absence of sensory input allows your body and mind to enter a state of deep relaxation. This can be especially beneficial for those who struggle with anxiety and PTSD, as it provides a respite from constant hyper-vigilance and stress.

Enhanced Mindfulness: Floating in a sensory deprivation tank can help you achieve a meditative state, promoting mindfulness and a deeper connection with your inner self. This can facilitate emotional healing and self-discovery.

Reduced Stress and Pain: The buoyancy provided by the saltwater can alleviate physical pain and tension. This is particularly helpful for MST survivors who may experience chronic pain or physical discomfort as a result of their trauma.

Improved Sleep: Many people who use sensory deprivation tanks report improved sleep quality. For MST survivors, who often struggle with insomnia or disrupted sleep, this can be a crucial benefit.

How to Get Started with Sensory Deprivation

If you’re interested in exploring sensory deprivation as a self-care practice, here’s how to get started:

1. Find a Local Facility: Search for spas or wellness centers that offer flotation therapy. Many urban areas have facilities specifically designed for sensory deprivation experiences.

2. Prepare Yourself Mentally: The idea of complete darkness and silence can be daunting. Prepare yourself by researching what to expect and starting with shorter sessions if needed.

3. Set an Intention: Before entering the tank, set a clear intention for your session. This could be to relax, to explore your thoughts, or to simply experience the sensation.

4. Stay Open-Minded: It may take a few sessions to fully acclimate to the experience. Stay open-minded and give yourself time to adjust.

5. Reflect on the Experience: After your session, take some time to reflect on how you feel. Note any changes in your stress levels, physical sensations, or emotional state.

Self-care for MST survivors is not just about surface-level relaxation; it’s about finding innovative and effective ways to support your healing journey. Sensory deprivation, through flotation therapy, offers a unique and profound method to achieve deep relaxation, mindfulness, and stress relief. By exploring this unconventional self-care practice, you can uncover new paths to healing and well-being.

If you’re curious about how sensory deprivation can benefit your recovery journey, consider booking a session at a local flotation therapy center. For more groundbreaking self-care ideas and support, subscribe to "The Silenced Voices of MST" podcast and join our community of survivors and advocates at The Advocates of MST on Facebook.

Have you ever tried sensory deprivation or flotation therapy? How did it impact your mental and physical health? Share your experiences in the comments below – your insights could inspire others to explore this innovative self-care practice.

How To Overcome The Feeling Of Being Broken After MST

As the host of "The Silenced Voices of MST," I often get deeply personal questions from listeners who are navigating the aftermath of military sexual trauma (MST). One of the most relatable and tough statements I’ve encountered is, “I feel broken by my assault.” That’s something that takes so much courage to divulge to a complete stranger. It’s a sentence that resonates with profound pain and vulnerability, and it’s one that requires a nuanced response. It immediately makes sense, and it hurts to hear or see someone hurting like that

The Concept of Kintsugi

Pin it!

In Japanese culture, there exists an art form known as Kintsugi. This ancient technique of repairing broken pottery with lacquer mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum is something a lot of people who have been traumatized find in their search for meaning or peace. Instead of hiding the cracks, Kintsugi highlights them, celebrating the pottery’s history and the beauty that can come from imperfection. The philosophy behind Kintsugi is that breakage and repair are part of an object's history, and rather than something to disguise, they should be embraced and celebrated.

Although I don’t think anyone would ever celebrate their assault, I do believe you can celebrate growth, rebirth, and your ability to help others with the life lessons learned on your path to healing. When we apply the principles of Kintsugi to our own lives, particularly in the context of MST, we begin to see that our experiences—no matter how painful—are integral parts of our story. They do not diminish our value but rather enhance our uniqueness and strength. I, too, felt completely worthless after repeated traumas and feeling like everyone could see that something was wrong with me. But now, I show the cracks, because that’s where my inner light shines through. The gold in our cracks symbolizes resilience, courage, and the beauty that emerges from our journey through adversity.

Grieving the Life You Once Had

One of the first steps in healing from MST is acknowledging and grieving the life you once had. It’s essential to give yourself permission to mourn the loss of the person you were before the assault. This grief is valid, and it’s a crucial part of the healing process.

I remember the days when I felt like a shadow of my former self, mourning the loss of my the life I had known as a military kid, my sense of security when seeing uniforms, and my trust in my judgement. How could I have been so wrong? This grief was a heavy burden, and I ran from it for a long time trying to hide it under a thick veneer of alcohol, drugs, and tons of bad decisions. But finally acknowledging it allowed me to start the process of healing. It’s okay to feel this way. It’s okay to miss the person you used to be. Not only that, it’s okay to grieve the person you could have been. Let yourself grieve, but also internalize that this grief is not the end of your story.

Learning to Feel Safe in Your Body Again

Feeling safe in your body again is one of the most challenging aspects of recovery. MST often leaves us feeling disconnected from their bodies, plagued by anxiety, and haunted by memories of the assault. Reconnecting with your body is a gradual process, and it’s different for everyone. I remember trying to scrub my skin off one night because I just felt so disgusted with all of myself its not uncommon to hear something like this from survivors.

For me, learning to feel safe in my body involved exploring various therapeutic practices such as yoga, mindfulness, and somatic experiencing. These practices helped me to ground myself, to feel my feet on the earth, and to slowly reclaim my body as a safe space. It’s about small, intentional steps—feeling the warmth of the sun on your skin, the comfort of a soft blanket, the rhythm of your breath. Living with intention rather than drifting through life made the difference. These moments of mindfulness can help you rebuild a sense of safety and control.

Learning to Trust Again

Trust is often shattered after an assault, and rebuilding it can feel completely foreign. Trusting others, and even trusting yourself, may seem impossible. But trust can be rebuilt, piece by piece.

Start by surrounding yourself with people who respect and support you. This might be friends, family, or members of a support group. It could even be an online community centered on fixing and selling antique clocks. If it’s an activity where you feel at peace and can create a sense of self-worth, go for it! It’s important to have a safe space where you can express yourself without fear of judgment. Over time, these positive interactions can help you begin to trust again.

Trusting yourself is equally important. It’s about listening to your intuition and respecting your own boundaries. Remember, it’s okay to take things slow. I would t say to throw yourself into an environment full of wild cards where people may behave inappropriately and unpredictably (like a crowded bar or dance club). Easing back into being around other people is like getting into a hot tub. Healing is not a linear process, and it’s perfectly normal to have setbacks.

Finding Peace After Trauma

Finding peace after something as violent as MST is quite the task. It’s about integrating the traumatic experience into your life without allowing it to define you. It’s about reclaiming your story and finding moments of joy and tranquility amidst the chaos.

For me, peace comes in moments of stillness—watching a sunset, taking the time to create a really great meal from Pinterest, or losing myself in a good book. These moments remind me that despite the trauma, life still holds beauty and wonder. Peace is not a constant state but a series of fleeting moments that, when woven together, create a tapestry of resilience. And remember, you deserve peace. You are not undeserving because you’ve known pain. You will never be undeserving of peace no matter what you went through or what you had to do to survive. If anyone tries to make you feel that way, kick them out of your life immediately.

Embracing the Journey: Each Day is Work

Although I have reached a place of stability, each day is still work. I have bad days, days when the weight of my experiences feels too heavy to bear. But I also have good days, days when I feel proud of how far I’ve come. It’s important to acknowledge both. Healing is not about reaching a destination but about navigating the journey with compassion and courage.

I enjoy seeing myself handle a situation that years ago would have sent me in a tailspin. Now, I congratulate myself for find the right coping skills and knowing when I need to take a break and get recentered.

Focusing on Self-Pride

One of the most empowering aspects of my healing journey has been learning to focus on becoming proud of myself. It’s about celebrating the small victories—getting out of bed on a difficult day, reaching out for help, or simply taking a moment to breathe. These victories may seem insignificant to others, but to us, they are monumental.

I’m not saying to become arrogant. Everyone can see through falsely confident people, no matter what they tell themselves. There’s a reason arrogant people don’t have many friends, or if they do, they are frenemies. What I mean is to employ frequent positive self-talk!

I remind myself daily that I am proud of who I am and what I have overcome. This pride is not about ignoring the pain but about recognizing my strength and resilience. It’s about understanding that my worth is not defined by my trauma but by my ability to rise above it. I encourage myself through each step of the day. “Yes, I did it!” Or “Great job, girlfriend!”

It’s not stupid if it works

Finding Strength in Listening to Stories

One of the reasons I’ve been able to gain strength and host about something that is really triggering is because I know that I am fighting for the person I used to be and for many people who will live after me. Each story I listen to with my guests and audience is a testament to our collective resilience. It’s a reminder that while our experiences are painful, we are not alone. Help is out there!

The Advocates of MST: A Community of Support

In addition to the podcast, I founded the Facebook group, The Advocates of MST, as a space for survivors to connect, share their experiences, and support one another. This community has become a vital part of my healing process. Seeing others find their voice and gain strength from our shared experiences reminds me daily of the importance of our work. We are also going to start activism in a unique and interesting way in order to continue our fight for accountability in the Armed Services.

A Message to Those Who Feel Broken

To those who feel broken by their assault, I want you to know that you are not alone. Your feelings are valid, and your pain is real. But remember, like the pottery in Kintsugi, your cracks are not flaws—they are the places where the light escapes and tells your story of survival, courage, and strength.

Grieve the life you once had, but also embrace the person you are becoming. Reclaim your body as a safe space, rebuild trust in yourself and others, and seek moments of peace amidst the chaos. Each day is work, but each day is also an opportunity to grow, to heal, and to be proud of yourself.

Healing from MST is a complex and deeply personal journey. It’s about finding strength in brokenness, embracing the philosophy of Kintsugi, and allowing your cracks to shine with the gold of resilience and courage. It’s about grieving, rebuilding, and reclaiming your life, one step at a time.

As a survivor and an advocate, I am here to tell you that healing is possible. It’s a journey filled with challenges, but also with breakthrough moments of profound beauty and strength. Some days, you’ll feel invincible. Other days you’ll want to. E invisible. It’s okay! Be proud of your journey.

I hope this note is a source of comfort and inspiration for those who are navigating the difficult path of healing from MST.

Remember, you are not alone, and together, we can find strength in our brokenness and beauty in our scars.